Skips
by Destany Mitchell
Summary: a songfic to the Alexz Johnson and Tyler Kyte's song Skips. The fic is in Jude's pov about her relationship with Tommy after Date with the Night. Reviews are always appreciated.


**Summary:** A songfic to the song Skips by Alexz Johnson and Tyler Kyte, challenged from: Blondi142 of the DLS forum. Takes place after Date With The Night; Jude's thoughts about Tommy leaving. Song lyrics are in italics.

**Disclaimer: **per usual, I own nothing; just the ideas.

**Skips**

_I feel my heart doesn't fit_

**He's gone**. I still can't get that out of my head. Can't forget the fact that he left. Can't forget the fact that he may not be coming back. Those were his last words to me were with an indifferent tone; like I didn't matter anymore. '**I'm leaving and I may not be coming back**.'

_Cause it beats too many times_

My heart is on the verge of breaking. My pulse is racing and I barely feel like I can breathe. I can't stop the tears that are running down my face. I had never felt this kind of heartbreak before. I never felt so alone, so…used, so worthless.

a_nd_ _its skips_

A sob escaped my throat and I felt my heart stop a moment before it continued beating as fresh tears welled up in my eyes, awaiting their turn to stream down my face.

_Running races in my head_

I couldn't stop thinking about him. About us. I felt tears of regret fall down my face when I realized the wasted time I had with him when I was angry at him for doing something he never did; something I knew he wouldn't do but I let myself fall victim to his past reputation and allowed myself to hate him.

_and_ _then_

And then I fell for him again. Him and his charms; his patented smile that I was certain he should have to be licensed for.

_I feel my hands don't work_

Whenever I was near him, I was overwhelmed by his presence and my body just…shut down. I was knocked down from confident Jude to blubbering like a love-sick fan of his with just a flash of his smile or a look in his eyes; the very look that went unguarded and was only meant for me.

_Touching your skin_

I never knew that touching another person could ever feel so perfect, so right. Whenever we touched, brushed past each other, or had full contact from a hug, it made me feel more alive than I ever thought I could ever feel. Every nerve seemed to be active and I was often left wondering if I was dead before I met him.

_In the Dark_

The night we fell asleep in the Chrome Cat on that old, uncomfortable sofa was the best sleep I ever had. I don't even remember how I ended up using him for a pillow…it just, happened. And nothing ever felt so right. I never felt more content in that moment.

_I was put here to watch_

But I wasn't meant for him. He didn't care for me like I did for him. He dated my sister for the majority of the time that I knew him and it hurt to watch them be happy together

_Not meant to kick out of it_

I'm not his type or even the girl he dreams about having. I'm just Jude; his favorite artist and, just maybe, a good friend.

_Close to your skin_

But I can't help but feel my heart race when I'm close to him or get overwhelmed by my feelings for him.

_Up and down_

Heartbreak, fights, hugs, kisses, and laughs. That's our life in the studio on a daily basis.

_On this merry-go-round_

Round and round the cycle goes; never ending but always more viscous with each spin. More emotions are on the line; more hurt, regret, love, and anger.

_Take me up_

I let him make me happier than I ever thought possible. I let him into my heart. I let myself **need** him.

_Put me back in one piece_

And as easily as he made me feel complete and happy, he had the power to break me as well. More than once I have cried over Tom Quincy; more than once I have had to pick myself up from the floor, dust myself off and keep going – pretending like nothing was wrong.

_But let me feel you_

I could get by if I could see him; talk to him and be with him. But no. He won't return my calls and he **left** me for god only knows where.

_Well here I am_

Here I am, alone, at home, mooning over Tom once again while he's…doing whatever it is that he left for. I hope he's feeling at least something; some kind of regret for leaving me.

_lending_ _myself again_

_Ready to fake it on the wheel_

I need to brave face and continue to go on with my life. I can't go around with my heart breaking with my heart breaking over and over. The studio doesn't want me to feel emotions. They want me to sell records and go to parties and perform like a good girl; like my life my feelings, wasn't in tatters.

_But let me break him in_

I want to make him mine. He told me once he had never been in love before and I wanted him to let me show him; wanted him to feel it with me.

_  
Let me break him in_

_I made a choice_

I ran from my problems. I could have stayed and play pretend, but I couldn't. I couldn't pretend nothing was wrong at Liam's request and I ran.

_  
Try and make myself invisible_

Try and hide away from everyone. Hide with Mason and cry heart out and just maybe heal my shattered heart.

_Make sure I can fit it_

Try out my new outlook, mold it to me and come out stronger than before.

_  
Cause I'm sick of feeling miserable_

I'm sick of crying over Tommy, Jamie, Speed, Shay, everything and everyone. I'm sick of my parent's drama and my vindictive sister. I just want to be happy.

_  
Hidden by some lies_

A fake smile here, a laugh there. I can fake happiness; I've done it before for the cameras, I can make an attempt to do it again.

_Sacrifice my friendly ties_

Won't even let my friends know what's in my shattered heart.

_  
Started from scratch_

Start over. Reinvent myself into a stronger artist. A stronger person.

_  
Wont attack if he walks my way_

I won't care if Tom returns. I won't be the bitter girl he left behind. I won't cry when I see him. If I see him.

_Hear what he has to say_

Just sit back and listen with indifference and then make my judgement from there.

**3 Months Later**

I strummed my guitar in Studio B, working on some new songs for my next album. I finished my melody and glanced up to see Kwest's reaction and I froze.

_I feel my heart doesn't fit_

I gasped and froze at what, **whom** I saw before me. Behind the glass, talking with Kwest, was Tommy.

_  
Cause it beats too many times_

I could feel my heart race, my pulse quicken, at just the sight of him. I froze. I couldn't take my eyes away from him. **He's back**.

_  
And it skips_

His eyes turned to me and my heart stopped. Oh my god. He's back repeated over and over again in my head.

_  
Running races in my head _

I was overwhelmed with emotions I thought were buried. One look at him and I remembered my pain, my love, my anger, resentment, and memories.

_and_ _then_

I didn't even realize he had moved, but he was at the door that connected the sound booth and the recording booth.

"Hey," he said, entering the room, door closing behind him and his hands slipped into his pockets.

_  
I feel my hands don't work_

I felt my grip loosen on the guitar as I continued to look at him. I felt the guitar slip and I snapped out of my funk and set it down next to the stool I was sitting on.

I glanced back up at him and he moved closer to me.

_  
Touching your skin_

He reached out and caressed my cheek and I couldn't help but close my eyes. I knew I should be angry, shouldn't let myself become overwhelmed by him, but old habits die hard.

_In the Dark_

I opened my eyes and I looked into his clear blue eyes. I still couldn't get myself to speak and I stared at him questioningly.

Why was he back? Why did he leave? Was this really happening?

_I was put here to watch_

I had to remember I couldn't let myself fantasize. We weren't meant for each other. Not meant to **be** together.

_Not meant to kick out of it_

"What?" I managed to squeak out. He gave me a small smile.

"I missed you." He murmured, his eyes soft and caring and he smiled nervously at me. I couldn't say anything; I couldn't speak; couldn't think.

_  
Close to your skin_

I shoved him back and ran out of the studio, tears stinging my eyes.

I couldn't do this. Not now.

_  
I made a choice_

I ran away. I took a page out of his book and ran. The flight or fight response told me to fly away and I did. I had to clear my head and process the fact that he was back.

_  
Try and make myself invisible_

I leaped into my car and drove, hoping no one would follow me. I felt tears sting my eyes and a soft sob escape my throat.

I drove on autopilot until I suddenly came to a stop. I killed the ignition and realized where I was.

_  
Make sure I can fit it_

I got out of my car and looked out over the water; it was the place I fell in love with him at.

Tears fell unchecked down my face and my knees became weak and I collapsed to the ground, my head bowed and hunched over the ground.

_  
Cause I'm sick of feeling miserable_

A soft sob escaped my throat. I thought I was done crying over Tom Quincy and apparently I thought wrong.

_  
Hidden by some lies_

I had convinced myself I didn't love him anymore; that I didn't care what happened to him or if I ever saw him again.

"Jude." A soft voice said and I didn't look up. I felt a hand touch my back and began to run up and down in slow, comforting movements. I let out a sob and his hand stopped. "I'm sorry girl." He said softly, taking me into his arms and I gripped his shirt in my fists and cried into his shoulder.

_  
Sacrifice my friendly ties_

His hands stroked my hair and back in comfort and he whispered words that I couldn't make out but the sound of his voice was comforting enough. I pulled him closer to me as I cried and he continued to hold me; to comfort me.

_Started from scratch_

I felt my tears gradually subside and I sat there, sniffling in his arms for a long moment. I sniffed one final time and pulled back; looking directly into his eyes. His blue eyes were soft, concerned, and filled with a look of regret.

"Why?" I asked, not recognizing the sound of my own voice.

_  
Wont attack if he walks my way_

He raised his left hand and wiped some stray tears from my cheeks and I stared back at him, my eyes pleading with his for answers.

_  
Hear what he has to say_

"I had to leave for a family emergency." He said.

"Why didn't you…"

"I really didn't know how it'd work out." He admitted. I looked away from him, feeling tears sting my eyes once again. "My sister was in a bad accident. They didn't think she'd make it and I was named legal guardian of my niece." I looked up at him, surprised by his story.

"I didn't"

"It's fine. It all worked out in the end." He said with a sigh and a shrug.

"Your sister?"

"She made it; thank god. The poor kid probably would be dead by now if she hadn't."

"I'm sorry." I said again, not knowing what else to say. We fell into a comfortable silence and I looked away from him again.

_I feel my heart doesn't fit_

"I meant it when I said I missed you." Tommy said, breaking our prolonged silence.

"I missed you too." I said, feeling my heart swell at the thought that he missed me. He placed a hand beneath my chin and tilted my head up. He stroked my hair and looked straight into my eyes.

_  
Cause it beats too many times_

His hand trailed down from my hair and caressed my cheek and my heart beat quickened at the small gesture.

_  
And its skips_

"I love you Jude." He said softly and I felt my body freeze. My heart stopped and time itself seemed to still around us.

_  
Running races in my head_

My mind was reeling. Did he really just say that he…? I looked into his eyes and I knew he had really said what I wanted to hear for so long. I felt fresh tears prick my eyes and I sniffed before looking down and away from him.

"Tommy, I-"

My words were lost to our ears as he captured my lips in his. I sighed in contentment and pulled him closer, tangling my fingers in his dark hair. His kiss wasn't demanding or overly heated. It was a kiss of love and pent up emotion and I kissed him back the same way.

_and_ _then_

We broke apart simultaneously and I felt myself beginning to drown in his blue eyes.

"I love you too." I said, mesmerized by the emotions I saw in his tormented eyes. He smiled at me and kissed me quickly before pulling me to him in a hug and I knew everything would be ok.


End file.
